


Crossing a line

by mistressterably



Series: One offs - TTOI related [5]
Category: Doctor Who (2005), The Thick of It (TV)
Genre: Crossover Pairings, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-20
Updated: 2015-08-20
Packaged: 2018-04-16 07:57:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,485
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4617513
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mistressterably/pseuds/mistressterably
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Malcolm and Kate have an unspoken agreement that their jobs will never cross paths. When it does, it doesn't go down very well.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Crossing a line

**Author's Note:**

> Anon tumblr prompt fill : Malcolm infuriates Kate, the next thing Malcolm is kidnapped by UNIT, put in a cell for special treatment.

‘Right, so now we’ve got a new fuck up by DoSAC over immigration numbers. A-fucking-gain.’ Malcolm was rubbing his forehead. ‘Can’t fucking deal with their constant shite-spraying cock-ups.’ 

Jamie was sprawled in the chair across from Malcolm’s desk. ‘Look, we can’t fucking hide it entirely.’

‘Fuck! I know! What’s one thing that any newspaper will run up the cock pole faster then a teenage boy coming over page three?’

‘Sex scandals?’ Jamie answered. ‘Which we don’t have one right now.’

‘No, but they love a good military scandal just as much.’

‘Another thing we don’t have.’ Jamie said, mulling over the problem in his head.

‘We do though. Well, military and spending.’ Malcolm got up and went over to a pile of memos that had come in through the past few days. ‘Here!’ He pulled one out and handed it to Jamie. ‘I’m going to fucking blow this up and divert the papers away from DoSAC.’

Quarterly budget updates: UNIT. Overspend percentage 12.4% 

Jamie read it and looked up at Malcolm with a grin. ‘The military spending too much again. Brill!’

‘Fucking right.’ Malcolm dialled a number on his mobile and was off manipulating what would make the news that day.   
Kate was beavering away at a report on the latest Zygon integration updates when her aide, Osgoode, knocked on her door and came in with a newspaper. ‘You may want to speak to your boyfriend.’

‘He is not my boyfriend.’ Kate told Osgoode. 

‘You see him often enough.’ Osgoode commented and then laid the paper on Kate’s desk. ‘I think he’s crossed a line now.’

Mad Military Money - once again a general with no idea what budgets are for.

Kate sighed. ‘That he has. Right, can you arrange for a security detail to standby and I’ll call Malcolm in. I’d hoped he’d respect UNIT’s need for hiding in plain sight but apparently not.’ Osgoode nodded and left her office. Kate picked up her phone. ‘Malcolm?’

‘Well, if it’s not my favourite piece of ass.’ Malcolm replied in his usual romantic manner. ‘What’s up, Kate? Aside from my prick after hearing your voice.’

‘Need to speak to you, Malcolm. You know why.’

‘Oh dear, this doesn’t sound like the usual invite over for a balling.’

‘My office. ASAP.’ Kate said and hung up.

Malcolm laughed and, after making his excuses to Jamie, hopped in a cab to Kate’s office at the Tower. Security recognized him and signed him in without any delays. 

‘Kate!’ Malcolm strode in once Osgoode had let him in to her office. ‘How’s my favourite...’

‘Sit.’ Kate ordered him.

He arched an eyebrow, ran a hand over his tie and sat as she directed. ‘Have I pissed on your cornflakes then?’

‘Oh, that is a very mild way of putting it, Malcolm.’ Kate told him, her tone frostier than the Arctic.

‘Ah, c’mon, Kate. It’s a budget piece. No department is safe from that, not even your precious UNIT. If you’re going to spend taxpayer money..’

‘We spend only what we need to. It’s called working for the good of the planet.’

Malcolm guffawed. ‘Darling, no one cares about the good of the planet! They care about their next pay packet, their next lager and their next shag. Not necessarily in that order either. The planet’s fate is soooooooooo fucking down the scale as to be off the fucking radar.’

‘And that’s how we want to remain.’ Kate informed him, still cold towards him. She picked up the paper and showed it to him. ‘And this has your fingerprints all over it.’

‘Guilty as charged, darling. Worked a charm though. Not one inch of coverage on immigration figures. Foreigners invading Britain and taking up jobs are more important to people than some slimy green blobby thing wanting to squirt on us.’ Malcolm explained, making to get up. Kate glanced past him and nodded. ‘What?’ He was about to turn around when strong hands grabbed him by both arms. ‘Kate! What the fuck? Look, we can talk..’

‘Not this time, at last not here.’ She nodded to the security team and then he felt a pierce on his neck.

‘Kate… wha...’ He went limp in their arms, drugged into unconscious.

The cold hard surface was uncomfortable to say the least and Malcolm sat up. Both hands rubbed against his skull trying to clear the pounding in it. ‘What the fuck?’  
‘That,’ Kate’s voice sounded muffled. ‘Is the after effect of the sedation. You’ll be fine in an hour. Now, about your stupid use of UNIT for your cover up attempt.’

‘Why the fuck did you sedate me?’ Malcolm stood and realised he was barefoot. He looked down and saw that his shoes, socks, belt, tie and jacket were all gone. A plexiglass wall separated him from Kate.

‘You crossed a line. Now, we have to decide what we’re going to do with you.’ Kate said, ‘Many are saying that you should be permanently silenced.’

Malcolm’s eyes went wide. ‘Uh, really, it was just a memo! You don’t have to fucking kill me over it!’

‘Not killed, just silenced. Moved away, memory wiped clean. Or have your career destroyed to the point where no one would listen to you no matter what you say.’ Kate listed some options.

‘You wouldn’t.. would you?’ Malcolm pleaded. 

‘Those aren’t my preferences. As either would mean the end of our relationship as well.’

‘Fuck.’ Malcolm hissed. ‘Kate, what… shit.’

‘Yes, precisely.’ Kate said, pacing back and forth in front of his cell, hands behind her back. ‘I can’t just let you carry on with the risk of you pulling some stunt like this again. Not to mention that the seeds are planted in my superiors heads’ now that you potentially used your connection to me to find the information used in the report.’

‘Holy fucking sweet christ! No way! That was just the text of a memo I had land on my desk two days ago. Do you think I’d be that fucking stupid to put you in harm’s way?’ Malcolm pressed his hands against the plexiglass wall. ‘Give me some fucking credit here, Kate.’

‘I am and that’s why you're in a cell and not already meeting some fate of others’ devising.’ Kate’s words were like a bucket of ice water on him. He pushed away from the glass and sat down on the hard bed. ‘Who gave you that memo?’

‘I get batches of memos every day. I scan them but most of them mean nothing to me unless I link it to something I need.’ Malcolm sat, hands on his knees looking defeated. 

‘We already collected it from your office. There’s nothing on the memo indicating who it originated from. Where do budgetary memos normally come from?’

‘I usually don’t get those. They’re pointless for the most part. Someone may have gotten it and then thought it’d be of use to me. Wish I’d not seen it now.’

‘And so the blustering Malcolm Fucker is put in his place.’ Kate watched him closely. 

‘It was just about the money, nothing else. I swear. Diverting attention away.’ 

‘There is a way out,’ Kate said and watched a spark come alive in his eyes again.

‘Anything, Kate. Anything!’ Malcolm was back against the plexiglass wall. 

‘Work for UNIT, help us find out who planted that memo.’ Kate said. 

‘Is this your fucking idea?’ Malcolm bristled. It was usually his role to dictate what others did, not to be the pawn himself. 

‘Yes,’ Kate confirmed. ‘Best of a bad situation. You get to keep your job and memory, I get to keep you as a friend and we get to find out who is potentially trying to sabotage UNIT. Problem?’

‘What assurance do I get that I’m not going to fucking wake up one morning a different man.’

‘No more assurance than I do.’ Kate admitted as she approached the plexiglass wall and placed her hand over his with just the wall between them. ‘But we get each other in the meantime.’

‘I’m sorry, Kate.’ Malcolm said. ‘I’ll do it. For you and for us.’ Kate turned away for a moment and nodded to a guard at the end of the corridor. The wall slid to one side. Malcolm gathered Kate in his arms. ‘Damn, Kate. I can’t imagine a world any more that doesn’t have you in it.’

‘Good,’ Kate said, hugging him back just as tightly, her hand resting on his head, mussing his short hair. ‘It would make life far too boring without you around.’

‘Never boring,’ Malcolm said and then, making her squeak with surprise, he pulled her into the cell with him and onto the hard bed. ‘You’re a frightening bad ass bitch at times, Kate. And that is very very not boring.’

‘Malcolm!’ Kate protested but not very much as he kissed her hard. ‘Malcolm.’ Kate sighed and melted into him.


End file.
